Entry: Gone One Year But Still Here Tuesday, July 14, 2009

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Last year on this day I had to make the toughest decision of my life; to end the life of my best friend. He had broken his hind leg and the vet said it was due to cancer. I could have had it amputated to give me another 9 months or less of his company, but I couldn't do that. I chose to end his pain, while enduring my own. Baby was a giant; big and gentle, he brought out the softness in this hard old man.

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In human years he was almost 84, but when we brought home a new pup he became a puppy himself. He traveled with me across this country and back. He seemed at home in the Rocky Mountains; he chased deer, bathed in rivers and never complained about the cold. He was always there for me as I moved in and out of relationships. He was a lover of those I loved and scared off those I didn't care to know.

So when the time came I held his head and said good-bye. Once he was gone I removed his collar and hung it from my rear view mirror. He travels with me wherever I go, his tags making that familiar sound. Not a day goes by that he is not in my thoughts and I know when my time comes he will meet me at the door or I won't go through it.

I wish the pup (now almost 2) had learned more from him, but even if he had he could never be Baby.

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He was a great comfort and the memories of him are a comfort still.

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